Drastic Measures Special Ep: I Can't Drive 55
Written by Shadowstrike (Turboman)

(The following was based on the song of the same name by Sammy Hagar)

Seadragon: Shadow, you need to stop this.

Avi: This is your third speeding ticket this year.

Amethyst: Just because you turn into a car doesn't mean you can drive like you're above the law.

Shadow: Well, what do you guys know?

Darksage: WE know how to drive and not get tickets... Well, all of us but Metabad.

Metabad: HEY! WHO'S ON TRIAL HERE?

Guyver: No one is accusing you.

Seadragon: Yet.

Metabad: WHAT DOES THAT MEAN?

Seadragon: You know what it means.

Metabad: Be careful SD! I'll get Torgo and Orgot to tail you for a month!

Seadragon: You wouldn't.

Metabad: Wouldn't I?

Shadow: Now to quietly leave the room *tries to sneak out the door*

Briansfox: *slams the door* Dammit shadow! Stop getting tickets! You're using ALL of our income! We don't have much to waste on crap like this!

Avi: We already waste $10,000 on just ice cream!

Metabad: Ice Cream!

Shadow: Why don't you all back off?

Darksage: No. This is something we must do! *Just then an alarm goes off *

Amethyst: Screen says The Omega Squadron is attacking down town.

Shadow: Roll out! *They all leave*

*A Few moments later on the road.*

Junkman: Dammit! Shadow! We can't keep up!

Turboman: You're just too slow! *speeds off*

Junkman: Bastard.

Turboman: Ha ha! Now for the fun part! One foot on the brake and one on the gas, hey!

Pedestrian: Hey! WATCH IT! *gets buzzed *

Turboman: Well, there's too much traffic, I can't pass, no!

Construction Worker: SLOW DOWN *is knocked down a man hole * YOU BASTARRRRRRRRRRD...

Turboman: So I tried my best illegal move, A big black and white come and crushed my groove again!

Police: PULL OVER OR WE WILL USE FORCE!

Turboman: Damnit! *transforms to humanoid form * Is there a problem officer?

Police: You were doing a 125.

Turboman: And...?

Police: The speed limit is 55.

Turboman: I don't see the problem here.

Police: You were speeding by 75 mph.

Turboman: And the problem is?

Police: I have to give you a ticket.

Turboman: WHAT?!

Police: Actually, this notice says to arrest you.

Turboman: You know what?

Police: Humor me.

Turboman: Go on & write me up for 125! Post my face, wanted dead or alive

Police: Sir, calm down.

Turboman: Take my license n' all that jive
I can't drive 55! Oh No! Uh!

Police: Stop it! Your coming with me! *knocks Turboman out with a night stick *

*Later at the police station*

Junkman: You bum! We had to beat the Omega Squadron alone!

Turboman: Hey, shut up. You're not in jail!

Burstgirl: When's your hearing?

Turboman: Three hours.

Cloudman: Good! Then I will defend you!

Shademan: ...

Slashman: ...

Junkman: ...

Freezeman: ...

Turboman: ...

Springman: ...

Burstgirl: ...

Inmate in Next Cell: ...

Guard: ...

People on Street: ...

Cloudman: THEN IT'S SETTLED! I'LL GO FILE THE PAPERS! *run-er, hovers off*

Turboman: Someone... STOP HIM!

Slashman: What was that? Let him go?

Freezeman: That's what I heard.

Shademan: Okay Shadow, We'll be in the audience of your trial later.

Junkman: We'll make sure Metabad is ready.

*Later, in the court room*

Judge: *bangs gavel* Precedings will now start for State V. Turboman. Is the defense ready.

Metabad: YOU BETCHA!

Judge: And the prosecution?

???: ...

Judge: Prosecution?

???: ...

Judge: Ms. Von Karma?

Franziska: Only a foolishly foolish fool has an opening statement.

Metabad: Did you just call me a fool?

Franziska: Only a foolishly foolish fool would misunderstand my statement about foolishly foolish fools in their foolishly foolish world of fools.

Amethyst: *aside to the others * Little does she know....she IS going against a fool.

Metabad: WELL, YOUR THE FOOL AND YOU SMELL!

Turboman: What the hell... did I get myself into?

Franziska: *whips Metabad*

Metabad: Ow! What the hell?!

Franziska: *laughs* Only a fool of the highest foolishness would dare question me with such a foolish question of foolishness.

Metabad: Nah uh you're the fool! *is whipped* Ow! Your the fool! *is whipped* Ow! Your the fool! *is whipped* Ow! Your the fool! *is whipped*

*Two Hours Later*

Metabad: You the fool *is whipped* *passes out*

Judge: Cease! I'm sick of this! Time for my verdict!

Turboman: Already? That's not fair!

Judge: I'll allow you to say one thing.

Turboman: Thank you your honor. Now, my final statement. THIS IS ALL BULLSHIT!

Judge: DAMNIT! DO NOT MAKE A MOCKERY OF THIS COURT!

Turboman: So I signed my name on number 24, hey!

Judge: Boy, just one more
I'm gonna throw your ass in the city joint, *looking Turboman in the eye * You get my point?

Turboman: *slams his hand down then points at the judge * Go on & write me up for 125 ! Post my face, wanted dead or alive ! Take my license n' all that jive !I can't drive 55! Oh No! Uh! !

Judge: BALIFF! REMOVE THIS MAN! TAKE HIM TO COUNTY LOCK UP! HE IS SENTENCED TO 3 YEARS!

Seadragon: So... does this mean I'm leader?

Darksage: No, we took a vote. Torgo is.

Seadragon: WHAT!

Amethyst: Its true. We even have footage of it all. *Plays back video tape of the vote, with even Sea and Shadow voting in it*

*At the County Lock-up*

Inmate: So... whatareya in for, Skippy?

Turboman: Speeding tickets.

Inmate: Ya gotta be kidding me. Speeding tickets? What kinda yuppie are ya that ya are speeding?

Turboman: Excuse me? You don't get it.

Inmate: There's no need to go fast in a car.

Turboman: WHAT?!?

Inmate: Ya heard me.

Turboman: When I drive that slow, you know it's hard to steer.

Inmate: You do look kinda wimpy.

Turboman: And I can't get my car out of second gear.

Inmate: Your car has gears?

Turboman: What used to take two hours now takes all day.
Huh - It took me 16 hours to get to L.A.!

Guard: SHUT UP!

Turboman: Go on & write me up for 125
Post my face, wanted dead or alive
Take my license n' all that jive
I can't drive 55! Oh No! Uh!
No, no, no, I can't drive...(I can't drive 55!)
I can't drive... (I can't drive 55!)
I can't drive 55!

Guard: You have a visitor.

Inmate: Me?

Guard: No. Him.

Inmate: Have fun Skippy!

*Detention Center*

Torgo: HelLo ShADOw!

Turboman: Oh, hey everyone.

Torgo: We HAVe a Plan to lEt you oUt.

Turboman: Really?

Guyver: It's ingenious.

Amethyst: All we need is this! *pulls a sheet off the corner, to reveal a tied up SD wearing a bad Turboman costume*

Metabad: TA-DA!

“Turboman”: LEMME GO I'LL KILL YOU ALL!

*Later That Day*

Seadragon: *in the jail cell * My cellmate thinks I'm sexy
He just won't leave me alone
He's blowing kisses at me
And I'm a duckin' 'em all

I hate to break it to him
I'm in no mood for romance
What part of NO don't this fool understand
I'm in big trouble if someone don't come and get me
My cellmate thinks I'm sexy

Inmate: Mwhahaha!

The End!